Cobb's Cob

(Warning:This post is not for the impatient.)

I am a business analyst at an IT firm. My job entails looking into the clients’ businesses and telling them, how we can help them do it better. So, often before we can tell them, how they can do it better, we have to understand how they are doing it currently. Or as they say, understanding the ‘AS-IS’ process.

Some of these hot-shot fortune 100 companies have processes and systems which belong to the neo-Paleolithic age. So, to understand the ‘AS-IS’ is more like being at an excavation site, digging up bones from the Stone Age. It has its own charm (the bone digger will vouch for it), but sometimes it can get very VERY tricky.

This is the story of one those times.

So, this company, that I’m currently doing the project for, has offices across different cities in the US of A. Different people handling different functions (processes) at these different locations.

For example
• Process A at New York
• Process B at Ohio
• Process C at San Francisco
• Process D at Las Vegas

These processes (A, B, C and D) operate in a nested structure which looks something like this:
Process A (Process B (Process C (Process D)))

Which means: to complete Process A, you have to complete process B. And to complete process B you have to complete process C and so on.

If you have reached till this point, pat yourself! You are indeed patient.
10 points to Gryffindor!

Ok, back now! Now, let us look at it from a ‘systems’ perspective of the structure.

Process A running at New York, uses System P.
From system P in New York (used for process A), you can access system Q (used for process B) in Ohio
From system Q in Ohio (used for process B), you can access system R (used for process C)
You get the drift, right?

Now, if you thought, this was a little complicated... in comes the excavator (or shall we say the extractor!) aka yours truly! Sitting in Chennai, Da!

To start process A, you must login remotely to a computer in New York, from the computer in Chennai. Now I hope you remember that to complete process A, process B needs to be completed.

So, yes, go drink some water, pee, and come back, this is going take a while…

So, I was saying, to complete process A, process B needs to be completed. So what do you do? (Remember at this point, you have already logged in to the terminal in New York). Now, you login remotely from the computer in New York to the computer in Ohio to complete process B.

Yes it is getting a little smoggy, isn’t it? But wait. Because by the time, you login to the terminal at San Francisco you are pretty much in the middle of the Cobb web. You are trying to switch between terminals, furiously trying to keep track of which level/ process/ city you are in, but DAMN you!

AND THEN, in walks Mr. Christopher Nolan sir jee!




He looks at me, smiles and says,
‘No, there is something fundamentally wrong in that structure. All the levels can’t be operating at the same speed. As you go deeper inside, the perception of time elapsed increases. So, an hour in Chennai, is a day in New York, and a day in New York is a week in Ohio. But I warn you. If you go to Las Vegas, then you’ll come out of it, an old man, with your brain like mashed potato’

I ignore him. Think he must only be kidding about the speed thing.

Lesson# 1: Always listen to Christopher Nolan!

And then it starts to happen.
To open a browser on my own machine in Chennai- .3 secs

To open a browser on the machine in New York, via Chennai- 1 min

To open a browser on the machine in Ohio, via New York, via Chennai- yes, you can go drink some water and come back, and it is still opening…

To open a browser on the machine in San Francisco via Ohio, via New York, via Chennai- Hey, you want to go for lunch at this new restaurant in T Nagar? It’s a little far away. But it’s got an excellent buffet spread. Perfect for opening a browser in San Francisco

To open a browser on the machine in Las Vegas via San Francisco via Ohio, via New York, via Chennai- DIE OLD MAN, DIE!!!

Yes, you want to get out, but right when you need it, there’s no one to kick you!
Now, if you thought Las Vegas was all fun, then well
Lesson# 2: Limbo Las Vegas is not good! Opening a browser takes an eternity! Imagine, how much time, the strippers must be taking to, you know, strip!



Anyway, enough said. This post is a ‘in-between-work’ post.

I am currently in San Francisco.

Talk of DREAM job!!

And oh! Slytherin gets 100 points and wins. Haa!